It's January 1st, and while the whole world is celebrating the arrival of 2012, I am celebrating something else - the completion of my college applications. Thank goodness.


The process of college admissions has been one of the most strenuous I have ever experienced. You would think it would be simpler; after all, I've done all the work through my high school career, right? Possibly, but college applications have this incredible way of making the hours I spent draining my brain to learn trig, days I spent coordinating student council events, and lunches I spent in meeting after meeting seem completely insignificant.


I come from a small town with an even smaller school budget. My high school has done everything possible to ensure I obtain the highest education possible, but we can't exactly boast dozens of AP classes or extracurricular activities. This becomes a major inadequacy when I'm applying to colleges like Northwestern.


Oh, Northwestern. What a battle I've had. It's been my dream school since sophomore year, but my qualifications hardly seem enough to get in. Take my 29 ACT (the "almost good enough" score) with my measly two AP classes, and I feel a little ridiculous sending my app in.


I was convinced a week ago that I wasn't going to send it. I convinced myself that the dream was deferred; maybe I'd try for grad school. But as my best friend knows me better than I do myself, she threatened me within an inch of my life that I had to at least give it a shot. I groaned and agreed that I would write the extra essay that night, but my ego still screeched with a fear of embarassment and failure.


Then, I had a bit of an epiphany. Applying to NU is not about getting in. Of course I would be delighted if I did, but it's so much more. It's a testament to the fact that I believe in myself - my hard work and my ability to succeed. Even if it doesn't come through on paper, I know that I can survive this crazy-hard world called college, no matter how difficult the courses. My app is my personal reminder that I AM worthy.


In the end, it's not going to matter what that decision letter says. I'll probably cry a little and immerse myself in I Love Lucy reruns and Blue Bell ice cream. But after the tears dry, I'll know that the decision is not a step back, but a stride forward. Because on this journey to success, the first step is "I CAN."


Hello college, wherever you end up being... I'm ready for ya.